Six ways to promote overall well-being for parents and children in high-performance tennis

Each month, the USTA hosts Net Generation webinars for parents to learn how to best support their children throughout their tennis journey from finding coaches to improving their mental fitness. These webinars feature experts in their field, such as coaches, psychologists and current and former professional players. 

In the August webinar, “Resilience in Tennis: Learning from Losing, Avoiding Burnout, and Embracing Parent Wellness for Long-Term Development,” Christina McHale, behavioral geneticist Sheila Walker and clinical psychologist Shawn Foltz-Emmons, all former WTA players, joined the USTA’s Karl Davies, Ph.D, director of community education and parent support, to discuss tactics for keeping your child—and yourself—happy and healthy.

Here are the top takeaways from their conversation and six ways to maintain mental and physical wellness on and off the court.**

#1 - Focus on goals and routines—not wins or losses.

Work with your athlete and their coach to set goals that don’t have to do with the match score—can they try to get all of their first serves in during a tournament, do a better job with positive self-talk while out on the court, or move their feet a little more? These types of goals will help them improve day-to-day and stay motivated even when they lose. Additionally, developing routines for pre-match, post-match and during matches can help your athlete focus and reset when things get tough. Maybe they write down something they want to focus on during the changeover, or they have a mantra or breathing exercise to turn to if they notice negative thoughts start to pop up.

#2 - Ensure your relationship with your child doesn’t revolve around tennis alone.

For competitive tennis players and their families, the sport itself is sure to be a frequent topic of conversation, as are schedules and practice plans. However, it is crucial to make sure that tennis isn’t the only thing you talk about, and that tennis-focused conversations are about goals and growth, rather than results.

Wins, losses and practice should all be approached the same way, and try not to make comments about the outcome of a match or equating success with a win. Instead, discuss routines and praise your child’s effort each day. Focusing on the wins and losses and emphasizing the importance of rankings can negatively impact your relationship with your child, as they may think that winning is more important than hard work or having fun—or that their relationship with you is contingent on trophies or college offers. Leave instruction and feedback on your athlete’s forehand technique to their coach, and remind your child that tennis may be an important part of their life, but it is not everything.

“[Your children are] always watching you, and they're absorbing your behavior, mindset, reactivity around the things that happen in life, and so we really do have opportunities, particularly in stressful moments, those teachable moments to settle, to take a deep breath, so that we have capacity to act rather than react,” Walker said. “Our little decisions add up to our big decisions. But know that what you're doing for yourself to take care of yourself is also a gift that you can pay forward to your children.”

#5 - Learn how to identify and prevent burnout.

Being a parent is hard work, and it can be even harder when you’re the parent of a high-performance athlete. One of the best things you can do for yourself and your child is to be aware of the signs of burnout, and not wait until you’re burned out to take care of yourself.

For yourself, make sure to get enough sleep and take time to do things that are important to you, like spending time with friends and family, working out or enjoying hobbies. We focus a lot on player development and player wellness, and don’t always emphasize parent well-being, but your child will see how you do or don’t show up for yourself, so it’s crucial to demonstrate and model self-care for your athlete.

Take notice of when the only topic of conversation is tennis, and whether your child is even enjoying it. If they seem to dread practice or workouts when they usually enjoy it, or they are overly focused on the way their body looks, that may signal that it’s time to take a short break.

“Your child is going to run into people like this in life, unfortunately, so learning to manage things that go badly and learning how to remain composed is just one of the many things that tennis teaches your child. These are all learning opportunities, and it's about who the human being is becoming.”

If you want to watch the recording of this webinar, click here. To be notified about future webinars and receive these tips in your inbox, sign up for the Net Generation parent newsletter. The next webinar, “Navigating the College Tennis Pathway: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Success,” featuring Lauren Conching from the Intercollegiate Tennis Association, Clemson University’s Associate Head Women’s Coach Tom Rees and University of Chicago Head Men’s Coach Matt Brisotti will take place on Sept. 18—register here.

**This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, but rather to provide general information. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding mental health and or a medical condition.